Ramblings and Reflections

Anybody Any Of Us Know?

Our Marriage Is All an ActMy wife loves appearing in community theater more than she loves me.

Posted Thursday, March 19, 2009, at 6:50 AM ET

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Dear Prudence,
I'm married to a wonderful woman who has been everything I could ever want in a partner. There has been only one recurring issue between us that has ever caused strain: thespianism. I didn't find out until after college and we had moved in together (she gave it up for four years to study) that she is a local-theater nut. It frequently keeps her out of the house four to seven nights a week. This isn't a once-in-a-while thing, either; she'll do four shows a year, meaning she's in a show more often than she isn't. I've tried doing shows with her, but it just isn't my thing. All this drama has me feeling like I'm a second priority in her life, and it constantly means we're not doing things together. What's really brought this to a head is that she has decided to start auditioning for summer shows (she's a teacher and has summers off) that will possibly have her away from the house for 90 days straight. I'm feeling conflicted—this isn't what I want in my marriage, but I don't want to stand in the way of her dreams.

—Another Opening, Another Show

Dear Another,
Your drama queen's dreams are putting a scrim between your expectations of married life and reality. If a consuming hobby means someone is out almost every night, then the left-behind spouse is either going to be filled with resentment or, worse, construct a life that assumes one's beloved is usually missing or, worst, possibly start looking for an understudy. This is not to say people who are passionate about golf, or biking, or pottery, or theater should just give it up so they can spend their free time with their spouse working on that exciting project re-grouting the shower. But a successful relationship requires weighing the longing to play Miss Hannigan in Annie with recognizing that you can't make "Tomorrow, tomorrow, I love ya, tomorrow" the theme of your marriage. Tell your wife you want her to fulfill her thespian desires but that you miss her, and you need a better balance between her independent pursuits and the time you spend as a couple. Ask if she'll both cut down on the overall number of productions she's in and figure out if there's a way she can be in summer stock without leaving you to star in your own version of The Bachelor.

—Prudie

Song Lyric Thursday

I checked out of my hotel room this morning. It actually felt like I was moving. After 40 days on the road I had a slight twinge of separation anxiety. Granted I have been away for much longer periods of time but those trips were much less structured and required sleeping in the strangest of places and for inconsistent durations. But this was a planned trip and I had many of my creature comforts with me (golf clubs and bicycle) so it hasn't been too terrible except for missing Mrs. umdalum and umdalum jr.

I'll spend tonight at my parents house and then tomorrow will debark with them to home where they'll spend Thanksgiving with us. I'll bring them back up the road next weekend when I have to return for another week (no longer!).

Without saying, there's really only one song playing through my head today.

Mama, I'm coming home - Ozzy Osbourne

Times have changed and times are strange
Here I come, but I ain't the same
Mama, Im coming home
Times gone by seem to be
You could have been a better friend to me
Mama, Im coming home

You took me in and you drove me out
Yeah, you had me hypnotized
Lost and found and turned around
By the fire in your eyes

You made me cry, you told me lies
But I cant stand to say goodbye
Mama, Im coming home
I could be right, I could be wrong
Hurts so bad, its been so long
Mama, Im coming home

Selfish love yeah were both alone
The ride before the fall
But Im gonna take this heart of stone
I just got to have it all

Chorus
Ive seen your face a hundred times
Everyday we've been apart
I don't care about the sunshine, yeah
cause mama, mama, Im coming home
Im coming home

You took me in and you drove me out
Yeah, you had me hypnotized
Lost and found and turned around
By the fire in your eyes

Chorus

Happy Happy Joy Joy!

Today is my first day off in the last 40 days. Needless to say, I am very excited. And I get to go home this Friday.....

Song Lyric Thursday

I've spent the last 31 days back in my old stompin' grounds and have a little over a week to go before I can make parole and return home. Over the last several weeks I have taken my co-workers to numerous places that I frequented many years ago - uttering comments like "I've been drunk here before", "I dated a girl who used to work here", "this place serves kick-ass Mai Tai's", etc.

I've also had some time to reflect, looking back on all of my experiences (good and bad) from my days as a useless drunk and womanizer. With that, here's my song lyrics for this week by Robert Earl Keen; a little "Dreadful Selfish Crime";

Seems like yesterday I was here
Dreamin' my life away and drinkin' beer
Staying up till dawn strummin' on guitars
Sleepin' all day long just like the big rock stars
Barely livin' on money from tip jars

I had a little place just up the block
Had me a French girlfriend I loved the way she talked
We spent our afternoons watchin' the TV
Findin' things to do that we could do for free
When we split up she said you don't do enough for me

CHORUS:
I am guilty of a dreadful selfish crime
I had robbed myself of all my precious time

Had my first gig here in the neighborhood
We had a little band I thought was good
Hocked my old shotgun bought a used P.A.
We got a quart of rum drank it all that day
When the big gig come we were just to drunk to play

CHORUS

Sometimes I can't believe those days are gone
Most of my friends back then have moved along
One's in Hollywood one's a millionaire
Some are gone for good some still livin' here
Me I'm just the same lost in a crowd
Lookin' for the rain in a thunder cloud
I have moved around but it don't matter though
One thing I have found there are just two ways to go
It all comes down to livin' fast or dyin' slow

CHORUS

Self Explanatory

One A Hot Summer Night.......

....... would you offer your throat to the wolf with the red roses?

Well, would 'ya?

And The Answer Is.......

The steps leading up to the Gateway Arch from the Mississippi River - taken from the top of the Arch.

 

Name It

  

 Today's challenge is to guess what this is - bonus points if you can figure out where this is.

I Need To Rant!

Been awhile since I've posted and I apologize for that but you see I've been on temporary assignment for the past three weeks and will be here at least until November 14th.

I'm with 9 of my co-workers (all subordinates) at one of our other offices working on a rather large ($495M) proposal for the Government. We're a good team and everybody brings their own unique subject matter expertise to the endeavor. Schedules were cleared well in advance of this trip and everybody had a full understand of what was expected of them.

Slowly over the last week, one by one I've had people come to me with various reasons, rationales, and crisises that require them to depart and go back home.  Some legitimate, some not. there's only 2 of the 9 who haven't come to me with some sob-story.

(Here's where the rant comes in) This is starting to piss me off! I am finding it increasing harder to be supportive of these requests when I've been sitting here working 7 days a week, missing most of Umdalum Jr's games and my season seats to our minor league hockey team sit empty.  Not to mention the fact that I miss Mrs. Umdalum (if you know what I mean).

Well I don't feel any better but at least I've posted something!

Tired, So Very Tired

I sat in with some buddies Tuesday night at a gig that didn't start until 10:00pm so I didn't get home until after 2:00am. Nobody to blame but myself but gawd what fun! A live band backing up karaoke night with an emphasis on metal tunes in a college town is un-b-fucking-leavable!

But I've paid the price the last two days. To quote one of my heroes, Homer Simpson:

I used to rock and roll all night and party ev-er-ry day. Then it was every other day. Now I'm lucky if I can find half an hour a week in which to get funky.